The Safe Hybrid Battery Joke thread !

[Rocky Wabbit]

God was fed up. In a crash of thunder he
yanked up to Heaven three influential humans:
The Donald, Joe Biden and Putin
"The human race is a complete disappointment," God boomed.
"You each have one week to prepare your followers for the end of the world."
With another crash of thunder they found themselves back on Earth.
The Donald immediately Tweeted
"I have good news and bad news,"
"The good news is that there is a god. The bad news is,
God's really mad and plans to end the world in a week."
In Russia, Putin announced to parliament, "Comrades,
I have bad news and worse news.
The bad news is that we were wrong:
there is a god after all. The worse news is God's mad and
is going to end the world in a week."
Meanwhile, Joe Biden called a meeting of his top Cabinet officials.
"I have good news and better news.
The good news is that God considers me
one of the three most influential men on Earth," he beamed.
"The better news is we don't have to fix the Illegal alien battery problems

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[Rocky Wabbit]

Lil Johnny comes home unexpectedly,
sees them and hides in the bedroom closet to watch.
The woman's husband also comes home.
She puts her lover in the closet, not realizing that Lil Johnny is in there already.
Lil Johnny says, "Dark in here."
The man says, "Yes, it is."
Lil Johnny: "I have a baseball."
Man: "That's nice."
Lil Johnny: "Want to buy it?"
Man: "No, thanks."
Lil Johnny: "My dad's outside."
Man: "OK, how much?"
Lil Johnny: "$250"
In the next few weeks, it happens again, Lil Johnny and
the lover are in the closet together.
Lil Johnny: "Dark in here."
Man: "Yes, it is."
Lil Johnny: "I have a baseball glove."
The lover remembering the last time, asks Lil Johnny, "How much?"
Lil Johnny replies, "$750"
"Fine."
A few days later, the father says to Lil Johnny,
"Grab your glove, let's go outside and have a game of catch."
Lil Johnny, "I can't, I sold my baseball and my glove."
The father asks, "How much did you sell them for?"
Lil Johnny answers - "$1,000"
The father says, "That's *terrible* to overcharge your friends like that...
that is way more than those two things cost.
I'm going to take you to church and make you confess."
They go to the church and
the father makes Lil Johnny sit in the confession booth
as he closes the door and waits outside.
Lil Johnny says, "Dark in here, I have a used Smart phone with a low charge Battery."
The priest says, "Don't start that shit again Lil Johnny !"

 

[Rocky Wabbit]

DID YOU HEAR ?

Apple is planning on getting into the electric car manufacturing business.
Only when their cars are finally out in the market for sale, it will be fully autonomous. The steering wheel is optional. It will be sold separately for $5,000. The battery is recharged overnight !

 

[Rocky Wabbit]

There was a trooper on the side of the 101 fighting to keep his eyes open,
as there was empty road as far as he could see.
Suddenly, he heard the roar of a charger zip past him.
He flicked on his lights and siren and went after it.
He clocked them going at 100MPH!
The car quickly pulled over and he cautiously approached it.
Inside, were four women, likely in their 80s or 90s.
The driver seemed impatient and annoyed,
but the other women seemed terrified.
He asked the driver where she was headed in such a hurry.
She replied, "the bus was shut down with the quarantine and
we needed to get to our doctor's appointments."
"Do you know how fast you were going?" He asked,
"100MPH" she replied, visibly annoyed.
The trooper was shocked at the whole situation and
a bit annoyed with her attitude.
"The speed limit is 55MPH, I could arrest you for how fast you were driving!" He said.
The little old lady seemed really angry now.
"55MPH!? Are you blind? I can barely see, and
even I saw the sign back there that said it was 101!"
The trooper cracked up laughing at that.
When he finally composed himself, he asked
the other ladies if they were alright.
One of them squealed "we just got off the 201 MPH !"

 

[Rocky Wabbit]

Went to the boss,
"Three other companies are after me.”
He said, “Really?
Which other companies are after you?”
I said, “The electric company,
the gas company and the phone company.
He asks, "Who are you interested in?
Well, Lil Johnny now an adult answers'
Entitlements, benefits and Retirement !"
The Boss offered Lil Johnny now an adult the same !
Lil Johnny thought only a moment and
replied 10% wage increase every year for
the next 50 years and
an added day of sick leave and
a added earned vacation day every year.
The Boss started choking but
Lil Johnny is trained in first responder
something he has insisted be added to
his raise 20 years ago grabbed the Battery powered CPR Pack Heart auto Shock stimulator
and rescue breathing!
Boss gasps yes !

 

[Rocky Wabbit]

Grown up lil Johnny is a looser & is depressed
Lil Johnny parked his car in the garage and left it running for hours with the garage doors closed. Finally Lil grown up Johnny came inside the house after spending most of the night in the Garage. Grown up Lil Johnny realized he had a E-Car with only batteries for propulsion !

 

[Rocky Wabbit]

Lil Johnny is shopping for a new Puter ! He sees Myrosift has the 11 and after reading all the pages of crap realizes that its simply a Mac copy ! So Lil Johnny calls Mr. Dickerson and asks him what should I do ? Mr. Dickerson reply's, "You know Lil Johnny that I only ask how many holes can be covered up questions !" Well, Lil Johnny thinks about that and decides its a big Hole question to be answered if he does and if he doesn't. So Lil Johnny, he goes ahead and orders a new Apple Phone instead !

 

[Rocky Wabbit]

Hope I got more than 100 amp Breaker Box cause all my kids are bringing their E-CARS this weekend !

 

[Rocky Wabbit]

Lil Johnny went to Oklahoma for a Week and
witnessed a big storm on the 1st.weekend,
there was a blackout and He couldn't go outside.
After a while the batteries on Lil Johnny's laptop and
phone had run out so Lil Johnny read the newspaper and
finished his latest book.
After that there was nothing to do so,
Lil Johnny sat down and talked to Mrs. Lil Johnny for an hour or so.
Lil Johnny discovered that she seemed a very nice person !

 

[Rocky Wabbit]

A couple lived near the ocean and walked the beach a lot.
One summer they noticed a girl who was at the beach pretty much every day.
She wasn’t unusual, nor was the travel bag she carried, except for one thing.
She would approach people who were sitting on the beach, glance around, then speak to them.

Generally, the people would respond negatively and
she would wander off, but occasionally someone would nod and
there would be a quick exchange of money for something she carried in her bag.
The couple assumed she was selling drugs and
debated calling the cops, but since they didn’t know for sure they just continued to watch her.

After a couple of weeks the wife asked,
“Honey, have you ever noticed that she only goes up to people
with boom boxes and other electronic devices ?”

He hadn’t and said so. Then she said, “Tomorrow I want you to get a towel and
our big radio and go lie out on the beach. Then we can find out what she’s really doing.”

Well, the plan went off without a hitch, and
the wife was almost hopping up and down with anticipation
when she saw the girl talk to her husband and then leave.
The man walked up the beach and met his wife at the road.
“Well, is she selling drugs?” she asked excitedly.”

“No, she’s not.” he said, enjoying this probably more than he should have.
“Well, what is it, then?” his wife fairly shrieked.
The man grinned and said. “She’s selling "batteries”
“Batteries ?” cried the wife. “Yes,” he replied.
“She sells " C cells " by the Seashore.”

 

[Rocky Wabbit]

Move ahead to about 9 minute area to actually hear his early Comedy.

 

[Rocky Wabbit]

 

[Rocky Wabbit]

My car battery died
I called AAA to come out and they diagnosed it and
found out that it’s the original battery of 7 years and
in need of replacement.
So they swapped it out for me with one of their own.

Then it occurred to me that my car is now running on an " aaa Battery !"

 

[Rocky Wabbit]

When can I just buy a good rechargeable battery at a price my wife can afford !e

 

[Rocky Wabbit]

Looks Cool in See Thru clothes !

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